I feel that I should always have a plan B ready to go if something doesn’t work out. But I usually have so much confidence in plan A that I never get around to preplanning for B. I face it when I face it. 

Like, I see a spider in the kitchen and it’s just hanging out, and I’m like, you scare me, and my instincts tell me to kill you, but what have you done so wrong that I have the right to kill you? 

And then my dad sees it too and just kills it.

His reasoning: It’s not supposed to be in his house. :|

When my mom told him about them, about five months ago, he hated them so much he started getting emotional. These days he talks about it as something that is going to happen, and I am so grateful and happy whenever he does. 

I feel like I can breathe a bit easier, knowing I have his approval, it is hesitant, but at the very least I know he supports me. 

I’m glad.

My family wanted to go see a movie but I had already planned on today being my “get shit done day” and so they left. For the next two hours and a half I will be on a speed rampage to do all the things on my list before they get back. Gonna play some music now! 

i like this gif.

Is that how you’re supposed to say it? Perhaps ‘affinity’ is a better word… as in I feel an affinity with certain people. (?)  I dunno, there are just people I like almost instantly, or without trying. A lot of them are here on tumblr. Perhaps i’ll make a list.

I really am. I hate conflict and constantly worry about how to avoid it. If I do something even slightly passive aggressive, I immediately regret it and worry that my actions will cause others to become really upset with me. I try hard to not care but I do. I always think back to situations where I’ve been slightly rude or crass and regret them terribly. I guess that just comes from my fear of being hated, even by strangers.  

My mom is resistant to my life plans… I told her about my plans for teaching in Korea and she seemed okay with it at first. I still have well more than a year ‘till I go, but she’s starting to look up jobs for me and has sent me different postings of marketing positions here in SA. Tonight she was pretty adamant about me getting a marketing job. It’s actually causing me stress right now. Going to have to de-stress myself now otherwise I won’t be able to sleep tonight.